This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
