I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Randomize
