um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
