I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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