guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
