i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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