He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize