East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Blood and glitter go together right?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
