I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
