Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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