Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize