Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
The adults are the big ones right?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
