drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
