So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
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bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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