she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
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He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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