how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
