my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
