Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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