atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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