His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
