yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
