Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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