how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
