I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
