so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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