I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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