did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
