I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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