your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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