I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
