Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
