How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
