I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
