I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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