By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
