I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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