I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
