Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
