there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I had to cum in my sink.
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