just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
