It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
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