non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
