Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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