I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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