I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
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We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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