: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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