I look better un-naked...
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
