IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
