I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
