Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.