i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
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Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
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doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here