i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same