Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
