Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
