I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
