She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
