he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
