Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?