what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds