So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
