Can i not drive my cunt home
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
