I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I need a beard to bite.
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