It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
